Things They Might Never Tell You 001 by Dan Harmon


  • Thirty seconds after it gets easy, you will forget how hard it was.
  • Time does not advance 1 second per second.  It advances 1 important moment at a time.  You have less and less of these as you get used to them, therefore, the older you get, the faster time goes.
  • [I assume] you can jump out of as many airplanes as you want, and the above fact will never change.  The reason for this is: every time you jump out of an airplane, it becomes JUST a little more forgettable that you’ve done so.
  • You can make fun of it all you want but you will always be generally relaxed by New Age music.  They’re not trying to blow your mind.  They’re trying to make you go to sleep.  If you fall asleep listening to New Age music, they nailed it.
  • The person you are actually capable of loving will always be out of your league, and everybody in your league will either stop loving you or stop being loved by you.  In other words:
  • Love is not a real thing.  It’s an itch you can’t scratch.  It’s greener grass.  It’s a mirage.  In reality, we huddle together, or we stand alone, and in either case, we will always have to wonder: 
  • “What if I wasn’t doing this?”


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