1. A song for William’s exes who wish they could crash the wedding. A song for anyone on the wrong side of the phrase “And if anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever …”

  2. Americans don’t have actual royalty, so I’ll excuse their enjoyment of the royal wedding, just for this morning.

  3. Lily Allen should be performing “Oh My God” at the wedding party. It actually fits the Kate Middleton storyline we have all been spoonfed.

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