With A Passion

Apparently, my postal worker doesn’t give a shit about quality of service.

1. Something you might not know is that I take my magazines very seriously. Too seriously, I’m sure. But when the Brooklyn Postal Service continues to shit in my face and smile while they poo, I’m not really going to take it lying down anymore. Today, I got my copy of Fader’s 50th Issue “Solid Gold”* spectacular, and the upper left hand corners were shredded to shit (see above). I’m so tired of shitty mail delivery that I think I might buy one of those year-round mail boxes at a UPS or some such location. This will not eliminate all of the distance from the printer to my feverish eyes, but at least I’ve cut out the kindergarten dropouts called post office employees. For once, taking things to the private sector might be a good idea.

2. More to be angry about: Oh Word’s own Rafi Kam has thrown his 2 cents into the debate over Facebook’s new Beacon technology. Facebook is taking another step in becoming the big brother asshole that we all pretty much think that prick Zuckerberg would become. He must feel so superior, to be a drop out pulling the wool over the eyes of so many students and grads who didn’t want to throw away their parents’ money.

3. Even more: Amazon’s Kindle. It looks like ass, is anti-sharing, and renders the text of the book the way Ann Coulter renders her worthless opinion: in a fugly manner that makes me want to smash the both of them against a big brick wall. Chip Kidd (a god in the graphic design world, and rightfully so) has given a brief FuckOff to it, right here. Except that he’s more tactful than I am (unlike the balloon quote he wrote in my copy of Uncovered).

4. Mick Huckabee, along with his current state at the top of the Iowa caucus, is snowballinglly** retarded. What’s even more depressing is the endorsement he just got from Jerry Falwell Jr.; a dumbass of the greatest degree who’s fallen about as close to the tree as Hank “My Favorite Actress is Jennifer Love Hewitt”*** Steinbrenner.

5. It sucks to be a Knicks fan, and it must suck even more to be a Knicks beat writer.

Things to be happy about had to exist, so I hid them down here:

6. It it weren’t for his turns as a member of Thugnificent’s crew on The Boondocks, I’d have completely written Busta Rhymes off. Thankfully, he’s helped MC and helm a mix tape in tribute to J. Dilla that is honestly really great. Busta made a good album. I know, I don’t know what will happen next either. It’s free, here, at http://www.mickboogie.com/

7. Tina Fey is optimistic that the writer’s strike will end in a week or so. I don’t know if she’ll be right, but I really fucking hope that things work out for the guild.

8. And something that really got some glee out of yours truly: two minutes from the Hot Chip song “Ready For The Floor” which will be off their next LP, Made in the Dark. Ho these guys look so stereotypically hipstery and can actually be talented surprises even yours truly, currently living in Williamsburg and hating almost everyone there.

*No, I’m not kidding, “Solid Gold” is the “name” of the issue. Also, chalk up the second copy to a clerical error on The Fader’s part.

**See Clerks and look up the word Momentum.

***Quoting a New York Post interview, which I would never link to:

“Q: We see you in the newspaper with a cigarette in your mouth.
A: It’s not a good example for kids. It’s something I need to quit soon. My children are starting to get concerned and are trying to get me to quit.
Q: How much do you smoke?
A: About a pack a day.
Q: Three dinner guests?
A: Napoleon; Einstein; Mozart.
Q: Favorite movie?
A: “The Magnificent Seven.”
Q: Favorite actor?
A: Steve McQueen.
Q: Favorite actress?
A: Jennifer Love Hewitt.”